For the most part, I thought i was pretty good with the whole - “God knows what’s going on even when you don’t. He sees a bigger picture when things seem to be going wrong” thing. I mean, yes I would still have to remind myself to trust his plan when i was going through rough things, but i could wrap my brain around it. But when things happen out of the blue. When people die. When they kill themselves. And you remember them and how kind they were. How much they loved people. How you sang crazy songs in the car with your siblings on the way home from california and sent it in a phone message to them along with a reenactment of Old Greg. When you think about those things. It makes it way harder to believe in your heart that God sees the situation clearly. God i don’t understand at all. I’m trying my best to trust you…but honestly…it’s really hard. How does this work for the good of anything? Please show me. Give me understanding and the strength i need to trust you. Because my heart hurts. Please be with his family, God, and everyone else. Comfort them. i love you with all that i am.
